In this Connection Summit Bonus Episode, Sarah Stremming joins me to discuss imposter syndrome and how it impacts all of us either as pet parents or dog training professionals. What can we do to combat this feeling of inadequacy and how can we help others overcome their doubts?
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is when we doubt our own abilities and feel like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high achieving people who cannot accept their accomplishments and find receiving accolades difficult.
Why do we feel this way?
Without outside feedback free from judgement, or harsh criticism, we tend to become distrustful of praise and doubt our worthiness to be praised. We often do not give each other enough positive feedback and with social media being hyper-critical, this can make us second guess our abilities and skills. When we become more isolated, it’s difficult to find a safe community to voice questions or gain new perspectives.
The more accolades we receive, the higher the standard we hold ourselves to which can become a dangerous cycle. For example, sometimes we attach our self worth to our work which can be unhealthy. We become more vulnerable as we become more visible to criticism. The more people are paying attention, the more you question whether they should. Be aware of attaching our sense of success to outside approval. Be your own biggest fan.
Why don’t we treat fellow trainers with the same reinforcement tools and philosophies we treat our dogs?
Sarah and I invite everyone to shift your mindset to be more reinforcing with every single interaction you have, including the ones with yourself. The more we can do it for ourselves, the more we can do it with others. When we make mistakes or when we see others making mistakes, we need to be able to give and receive feedback from a place of kindness. If feedback is offered from that place, it’s easier for others to not feel as though it’s a personal judgement. Assume that everyone is trying their best with the tools that they have, including yourself.
What’s the antidote to imposter syndrome?
Here’s a hint: It isn’t having all the right answers all the time or never making mistakes. The antidote IS NOT perfection. Finding genuine connection is key to combating imposter syndrome. Connection can drown out negative criticism.
Imposter syndrome is not a syndrome, it’s just self-doubt (a normal way to feel at times) with a fancy label. Labeling it can give it more power. We’ve taken moments of uncertainty and self-doubt and made it into something that needs to be ‘fixed’. Life is messy. We learn and grow with each experience and mistake. What if we just do our best to learn and recover from these moments of self-doubt and uncertainty?
Sarah and I invite you to notice these moments of instability and ask yourself “is this true?” Because the answer is always no. The way out of imposter syndrome is to be aware that it’s happening, offer yourself and others kindness, and cultivate a community of people you trust to tell you the truth in a productive way.
- Find Sarah Stremming at The Cognitive Canine